Self Harming

What lies behind the urge to hurt yourself?

If you're reading this because you've hurt yourself, or feel pulled to, you aren't alone, and you're not a bad person. This page is here to help you understand your compulsion, not to judge it.

If you are in immediate danger, call 000 in Australia, 111 in New Zealand or 911 in the US. For free 24/7 support, Lifeline is on 13 11 14 (Australia), and 1737 is available in New Zealand. I'm not a crisis service and can't respond to urgent messages.

What is self-harm?

Self-harm is injuring yourself on purpose in response to overwhelming feelings such as anger, despair or self-hatred. It affects mainly children and teenagers, though adults can struggle with it too, and plenty of otherwise "ordinary" people feel a compulsion to do it. It sometimes goes hand in hand with other risky or self-damaging behaviours such as drug use, eating disorders, heavy drinking or dangerous behaviour, and can include neglecting treatment for conditions like alcohol or drug dependency. Hair pulling is also part of this picture for some people.

How common is it?

More than most people think. One Australian study, published in 2010, estimated that around 8 per cent of the population have self-harmed in some way.

Why do people self-harm?

Behind it there is usually pain that feels too big to carry. Common threads include:

•      A belief that you deserve punishment

•      Depression, anxiety or strong emotions that feel unmanageable

•      Post-traumatic stress

•      Low self-esteem, self-loathing or body image struggles

•      A history of sexual, physical or emotional abuse

Can it be treated?

Yes. Overcoming self-harm is possible, and I offer a programme that has been very effective for many people. We can talk through how it would work for you at an initial chat.

Do I need to see you in person?

No. Sessions run online via Zoom, FaceTime, WhatsApp or Messenger from anywhere in the world. All you need is a phone, tablet or computer, a good internet connection and some privacy.

How do I reach out?

Email me or call 0409 254 500 and we can arrange a free, no-obligation consultation or a chat online. You'll get clear answers to any questions you have, and there's no obligation on either side.