Phobias and Fears
Why does my body react as if I'm in danger when I know I'm not?
You know there's no real threat. But your heart races, your hands shake, you feel dizzy or desperate to escape. And when people say "just get over it," you can't.
If that's familiar, you may be dealing with a phobia.
What is a phobia?
A phobia is much more than disliking something or feeling nervous. It's an intense, overwhelming fear response that is hard to control, even when part of you knows the fear doesn't make sense.
Fear itself is normal. It's there to protect us. With a phobia, your nervous system reacts as though there's danger when there isn't, and the symptoms feel very real.
What are the symptoms?
• Heart and breath: racing heartbeat, palpitations, shortness of breath, chest tightness
• Body: sweating, trembling, dizziness, nausea, feeling faint, tingling or numbness
• Mind: feeling trapped or desperate to escape, detached or unreal, afraid of losing control
• Behaviour: avoiding the trigger, building your life around not meeting it
The symptoms can be so strong that a phobia feels like a panic attack.
"I know it's irrational."
"I have to get out of here."
"I can't do this."
What are common phobias and fears?
• Flying, driving, travel anxiety
• Spiders, snakes, birds and other animals
• Needles and medical procedures
• Lifts, enclosed spaces, crowded places
• Exam anxiety and performance fears
• Fear of death and health-related fears
• Social fears and fear of embarrassment
Take flying: your mind begins to link planes with danger, even though you know flying is one of the safest ways to travel. Over time, avoidance takes over. You stop travelling, skip situations, or organise your life around never meeting the fear.
Why do phobias develop?
Often the brain starts linking a situation, object or experience with fear and feeling unsafe. Sometimes the cause seems obvious, and sometimes it seems to come from nowhere. It isn't a choice, and it isn't a weakness. Many people blame themselves, but phobias are not something you consciously pick.
What if there's more going on?
Fears can overlap with obsessive thoughts or compulsive rituals, or sit alongside panic attacks or general anxiety. A short chat helps us work out what's involved, and if it's OCD, I'll point you to the obsessions and compulsions page.
How do I work with phobias?
Phobias can be treated by several approaches, including CBT with gradual exposure, which your doctor or a psychologist can offer. I use BWRT and related approaches to help you understand what the fear is doing, and gently change the automatic reaction behind it, so you can feel calmer and more able to do the things you've been avoiding. I tailor the work to you and can't promise a particular result.
Can I get help from home?
Yes. Sessions run online via FaceTime, Zoom, WhatsApp or Messenger, across Australia, New Zealand and internationally. All you need is a phone, tablet or computer, a reliable internet connection and somewhere private.
What's the first step?
A free, no-obligation consultation where we talk through what's been happening and see whether working together feels right. Call 0409 254 500 or email me.
If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call your local emergency number:
United States: 911
Australia: 000
New Zealand: 111
Need to talk to someone now? Free, confidential support is available 24/7:
United States: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline). You can also text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line).
Australia: Lifeline 13 11 14 (call) or text 0477 13 11 14. Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467.
New Zealand: call or text 1737 (Need to Talk?). Lifeline Aotearoa 0800 543 354.
Elsewhere: find a helpline in your country at findahelpline.com.
We’re not a crisis service and can’t respond to urgent messages
